I spent last Monday with a friend. A much needed day of fun, laughter, and shopping (with grant money for our school makerspace). I wasn't feeling very positive when I went. I was kind of down in the dumps. And then, God used four people to lift my spirits.
1. My friend, Lori. She has a way of encouraging you just by being with you. She is truly a gift in my life!
2. The cashier at the restaurant where we ate. I taught her in children's group when she was about 8 years old. She remembered me. She smiled and let me know she remembered me.
3. A man at Walmart stopped to make sure I knew I remembered him. He remembered Jarrett wanting to be called Roscoe (P. Coltrain) in junior high; that made me laugh to remember. Mostly, this man wanted to make sure I knew that I made a difference in his life. And he wanted me to be proud of the man he is today (and I am).
4. I saw a young person I taught last school year, and she stopped to hug me. In Walmart. With other people around.
God showed me quite clearly that I am following his voice and will by teaching. I usually don't have any trouble believing that. But that day, I was struggling. And HE took the time to remind me.
I am blessed! I am loved! I am a child of the KING!
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Monday, June 5, 2017
A lot can change in a year!
1 Year ago. . .
Jarrett was making a decision to move out on his own to become independent.
Mason was in the hospital, barly able to stay awake, unable to eat.
Caleb was struggling to figure out who he wanted to be as an adult.
Today. . .
Jarrett is living independently in Cicero, Indiana. He is holding down a job at a local pizza place, participating in Hamilton County Special Olympics, being an active member of his community, and attending a local church.
Mason is home, able to travel to visit family, awake more than asleep, and eating his favorite foods.
Caleb is a stronger person, responsible, reliable, shaping up to be a wonderful adult!
Life is good. God is Good. My Momma's heart is full!
I LOVE my grown up sons!
Jarrett was making a decision to move out on his own to become independent.
Mason was in the hospital, barly able to stay awake, unable to eat.
Caleb was struggling to figure out who he wanted to be as an adult.
Today. . .
Jarrett is living independently in Cicero, Indiana. He is holding down a job at a local pizza place, participating in Hamilton County Special Olympics, being an active member of his community, and attending a local church.
Mason is home, able to travel to visit family, awake more than asleep, and eating his favorite foods.
Caleb is a stronger person, responsible, reliable, shaping up to be a wonderful adult!
Life is good. God is Good. My Momma's heart is full!
I LOVE my grown up sons!
Sunday, March 19, 2017
In sickness and in. . . sickness!
You can probably tell by the title of this post that I am sick of being sick! It seems like since October I haven't been healthy for more than a week at a time. As soon as I start feeling better, something else hits me.
That being said, I'm feeling grateful that it is me who has been sick and not Mason. Almost every day the last couple of weeks, and many times before that, Facebook has reminded me that Mason was in the hospital during the first few months of 2016 more than he was home. While he was, I remember praying often asking God to heal him, even if it meant I wouldn't be healthy instead. Any parent understands that prayer. We want to take the pain and suffering away from our children.
So, although I have been sick of being sick, I am happy to be sick if it means Mason isn't. Mason has had a relatively healthy 2017 with only one hospital visit for a respiratory infection. Praise the Lord! Mason is getting a scope done Monday to check for a Hietal (spelling?) Hernia. Not sure what outcome to pray for. If they find one, it would mean another surgery to correct it. If they don't find one, then it is still a mystery why Mason has so much acid reflux that he can hardly eat (and anyone who knows Mason knows how he LOVES to eat).
Prayers for God's will to be played out are appreciated!
Bye for now,
Kara
That being said, I'm feeling grateful that it is me who has been sick and not Mason. Almost every day the last couple of weeks, and many times before that, Facebook has reminded me that Mason was in the hospital during the first few months of 2016 more than he was home. While he was, I remember praying often asking God to heal him, even if it meant I wouldn't be healthy instead. Any parent understands that prayer. We want to take the pain and suffering away from our children.
So, although I have been sick of being sick, I am happy to be sick if it means Mason isn't. Mason has had a relatively healthy 2017 with only one hospital visit for a respiratory infection. Praise the Lord! Mason is getting a scope done Monday to check for a Hietal (spelling?) Hernia. Not sure what outcome to pray for. If they find one, it would mean another surgery to correct it. If they don't find one, then it is still a mystery why Mason has so much acid reflux that he can hardly eat (and anyone who knows Mason knows how he LOVES to eat).
Prayers for God's will to be played out are appreciated!
Bye for now,
Kara
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
It's been a while!
Wow! I can't believe it is March 2017!
I can't believe I haven't blogged since October 2016!
Long list of excuses: herniated neck disc for me, minor surgery for Tim, disc replacement surgery for me -in Florida - in December - requiring this "No Fly girl to. . .Fly", time to heal, Mason hospitalized with a respiratory infection, me getting a respiratory infection (that lasted WAY TOO LONG), etc., etc.
But, finally, I am feeling good. I have energy! I am not in pain from a pinched nerve in my neck every time I sit at the computer! Family is all healthy!
So I hope to be blogging more, as I enjoy writing about what God is teaching me.
But for now, this is enough!
P.S. If you haven't read my blog posts titled Adoption Part 1, 2, and 3, you might enjoy them. You will learn a whole lot about how God used Tim and I to be parents of three wonderful guys!
Until Next Time!
I can't believe I haven't blogged since October 2016!
Long list of excuses: herniated neck disc for me, minor surgery for Tim, disc replacement surgery for me -in Florida - in December - requiring this "No Fly girl to. . .Fly", time to heal, Mason hospitalized with a respiratory infection, me getting a respiratory infection (that lasted WAY TOO LONG), etc., etc.
But, finally, I am feeling good. I have energy! I am not in pain from a pinched nerve in my neck every time I sit at the computer! Family is all healthy!
So I hope to be blogging more, as I enjoy writing about what God is teaching me.
But for now, this is enough!
P.S. If you haven't read my blog posts titled Adoption Part 1, 2, and 3, you might enjoy them. You will learn a whole lot about how God used Tim and I to be parents of three wonderful guys!
Until Next Time!
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
So Glad We Adopted: Part 3
Caleb. . . Caleb. . . Caleb Being his mom has given me an understanding and appreciation of many things I would not have known otherwise. He came to us at the age of 19 months full of the wonder of discovering everything. He was never still, always searching for something to interest him. He certainly kept Tim and I in good shape chasing him around everywhere. The only thing he has always been able to be slow and gentle with is his brother, Mason. Their bond is strong, and still to this day when Caleb is around Mason, he becomes a different man. It is wonderful to watch. I have been reminded of that recently as he has popped in to visit several times. Many of you know what a rollercoaster of a journey it has been for us raising Caleb. All of it was worth it. I know it is so difficult to see God's hand on everything when the going is rough, but I do know that God cares more about our children than we ever can as earthly parents. That took a while for me to swallow, but being able to "say" that out loud is very comforting. So, here is the list of things I never would have known so well without my Caleb.
1. football - I still don't understand a lot, but I did come to appreciate it while Caleb played.
3. the real world - I think I had some rose colored glasses on for part of my life, but Caleb helps me see the real world. He notices things I wouldn't. I used to love driving him around and listening to him talk from the backseat. He would point out so many things I would miss. He would also notice things that weren't too good, and we would have conversations about them. He cares so deeply about others, is so compassionate, loves to help out others in need.
2. ADHD - It is very different when someone you love is blessed with this (and it is a blessing). Having worked with many students with ADHD, I thought I would understand my own child more, but I didn't. I think I do now (and Caleb does too). I truly understand the blessings that this brings to him: creativity, energy, a deep caring spirit, the ability to take risks (something I can learn from him).
3. perspective - As a child, I really wanted to please adults. I still am a rule follower for the most part. I thought it was as easy as a choice to be made. However, through raising Caleb and knowing him now, as an adult, I know that temptation is different for everyone. It didn't ever pull at me the way it has at Caleb, and I am grateful for that. Through perspective, I have gained more patience and understanding of other people than I would have if I did not have the privilege of being Caleb's mom.
4. God's clenching hand - He doesn't let go of his children, He fights for them!
5. my child, a successful adult: He may not have done everything the way I hoped, but he has gotten there. He supports himself, takes care of what he needs to, holds down a full time (very difficult)job, and interacts with his dad and I frequently. He always says I love you and gives a kiss or hug before leaving (There was a time I didn't know if he would ever do that again).
So, I am sooooooooooo glad we adopted Caleb. He has made me a better person, and I love him unconditionally.
1. football - I still don't understand a lot, but I did come to appreciate it while Caleb played.
3. the real world - I think I had some rose colored glasses on for part of my life, but Caleb helps me see the real world. He notices things I wouldn't. I used to love driving him around and listening to him talk from the backseat. He would point out so many things I would miss. He would also notice things that weren't too good, and we would have conversations about them. He cares so deeply about others, is so compassionate, loves to help out others in need.
2. ADHD - It is very different when someone you love is blessed with this (and it is a blessing). Having worked with many students with ADHD, I thought I would understand my own child more, but I didn't. I think I do now (and Caleb does too). I truly understand the blessings that this brings to him: creativity, energy, a deep caring spirit, the ability to take risks (something I can learn from him).
3. perspective - As a child, I really wanted to please adults. I still am a rule follower for the most part. I thought it was as easy as a choice to be made. However, through raising Caleb and knowing him now, as an adult, I know that temptation is different for everyone. It didn't ever pull at me the way it has at Caleb, and I am grateful for that. Through perspective, I have gained more patience and understanding of other people than I would have if I did not have the privilege of being Caleb's mom.
4. God's clenching hand - He doesn't let go of his children, He fights for them!
5. my child, a successful adult: He may not have done everything the way I hoped, but he has gotten there. He supports himself, takes care of what he needs to, holds down a full time (very difficult)job, and interacts with his dad and I frequently. He always says I love you and gives a kiss or hug before leaving (There was a time I didn't know if he would ever do that again).
So, I am sooooooooooo glad we adopted Caleb. He has made me a better person, and I love him unconditionally.
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
So glad we adopted: Part 2
We adopted Jarrett when he was 10 years old. We met him the week before he turned 10. We were very nervous to meet this 9 yr. old that God sent our way, but from the first time we saw him and his smile unwrapped, we knew he was our son. Because he was in foster care, in order to have him stay with us for his birthday weekend, we had to get our emergency foster license. We had never wanted to be foster parents, but since we had this license and attended classes, it opened up doors for us that eventually led us to adopting Mason and Caleb. God's ways. . . .
Jarrett has been a great blessing to our family. He has always been really thankful to have a forever family, and quickly gave his life to God as part of our family. His ability to be happy under most any circumstances makes hanging out with him a good time. He will be 30 years old this November, and I can hardly believe it. There have been many battles along our journey as Jarrett's parents that God has guided us through, and it hasn't always been easy. We even had to make a decision for Jarrett to live away from our family for a while to help him heal in ways we could not help him at home. It took a lot to convince Jarrett that we were still his parent and family and would never separate permanently from him. Because of the numerous living arrangements he had before living with us (at least 9 - and he came to us with one small box of personal items), he has fear of abandonment issues. He gets nervous when people he loves travel. When loved ones pass away, he struggles to understand it wasn't their choice to leave him. It's an anxiety issue that he will likely deal with on some level his whole life. However, recently, Jarrett proved what great progress he has made in this area.
Sometime in April, we approached Jarrett about the idea of living independently from us in Cicero, Indiana in a home owned by Mephibosheth ministries (Christian based waiver provider), who would provide staffing needs for him. He had been attending their camp and day program for about a year. We really felt like this was the place God was providing for Jarrett. Jarrett was visibly nervous during the conversation, and we agreed we would talk more as he wanted, but that there was no hurry for a decision or moving as he could say with us as long as he felt it necessary. He said something about maybe in 3 to 5 years he would be ready. About a month later, Jarrett came to us and said he would like to discuss the move with Mephibosheth, see where the home would be, and possibly move out this summer. Well, God made a way, and as of June 10th, Jarrett has been living semi-independently in an apartment in Cicero. And, he has made the adjustment very well, with minimal psychological concerns.
I was really worried about him, and 2 days after he moved he called and told me he was having trouble sleeping because he was worried. I expected him to tell me he was afraid and feeling lonely, but he told me he was worried about not being here to help ME. He even said he would remind me when the trash needed taken to the road (as that was a job he had done for years). AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! How did THAT happen. How did my son suddenly grow up to be a mature young man who put thinking about others in front of himself. Grace of God! I love Jarrett so much, and am So Glad We Adopted Him!
Jarrett has been a great blessing to our family. He has always been really thankful to have a forever family, and quickly gave his life to God as part of our family. His ability to be happy under most any circumstances makes hanging out with him a good time. He will be 30 years old this November, and I can hardly believe it. There have been many battles along our journey as Jarrett's parents that God has guided us through, and it hasn't always been easy. We even had to make a decision for Jarrett to live away from our family for a while to help him heal in ways we could not help him at home. It took a lot to convince Jarrett that we were still his parent and family and would never separate permanently from him. Because of the numerous living arrangements he had before living with us (at least 9 - and he came to us with one small box of personal items), he has fear of abandonment issues. He gets nervous when people he loves travel. When loved ones pass away, he struggles to understand it wasn't their choice to leave him. It's an anxiety issue that he will likely deal with on some level his whole life. However, recently, Jarrett proved what great progress he has made in this area.
Sometime in April, we approached Jarrett about the idea of living independently from us in Cicero, Indiana in a home owned by Mephibosheth ministries (Christian based waiver provider), who would provide staffing needs for him. He had been attending their camp and day program for about a year. We really felt like this was the place God was providing for Jarrett. Jarrett was visibly nervous during the conversation, and we agreed we would talk more as he wanted, but that there was no hurry for a decision or moving as he could say with us as long as he felt it necessary. He said something about maybe in 3 to 5 years he would be ready. About a month later, Jarrett came to us and said he would like to discuss the move with Mephibosheth, see where the home would be, and possibly move out this summer. Well, God made a way, and as of June 10th, Jarrett has been living semi-independently in an apartment in Cicero. And, he has made the adjustment very well, with minimal psychological concerns.
I was really worried about him, and 2 days after he moved he called and told me he was having trouble sleeping because he was worried. I expected him to tell me he was afraid and feeling lonely, but he told me he was worried about not being here to help ME. He even said he would remind me when the trash needed taken to the road (as that was a job he had done for years). AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! How did THAT happen. How did my son suddenly grow up to be a mature young man who put thinking about others in front of himself. Grace of God! I love Jarrett so much, and am So Glad We Adopted Him!
Monday, July 11, 2016
So glad we adopted: part 1
Over the years a handful of well-meaning but misguided individuals have asked Tim and I if we would have chosen to adopt Mason if we would have known all of the special needs he has. An impossible question to answer, and typically gets a response from us of just, "Yes". What more is there to say? Lashing out at the ignorance wouldn't help anyone.
However, inside, I find myself shouting, "What a stupid question! If I gave birth to him would you ask me that? God chose us to be his parents, and once we accepted the job there has never been a question in our minds that he was meant to be our son."
A little background. We adopted Mason from foster care when he was 2 years old. We were aware he had some developmental delays, most likely from shaken baby syndrome. He had been in foster care since he was about 6 months old. Mason did begin to make progress: he could walk, eat, play. Then, at the age of 5, he developed a seizure condition that became so severe he eventually had brain surgery to help alleviate some of the seizures. He also had to have a feeding tube because his fatigue from seizing caused him to sleep for days and be unable to eat. Since that time, he has developed several other conditions. He is bedridden most of the time, requires 24/7 care, is incontinent, and mentally functions about like a 1-year-old.
Yes, being the parent of a special needs individual is challenging and exhausting. Mason's physical limitations and medical needs have made our lives very different from most of our friends' lives. We will never outgrow the phase of life where we need a caregiver and advanced planning to be able to go do something. When Mason was younger, it didn't seem we were so different. Everyone had children to plan around for get togethers. But as most others lives transitioned to a place where they could pick up and go at a moment's notice, ours didn't. Ours never will.
This morning I found myself reflecting on the good things in my life because of being Mason's mom. Tim woke me at 5:30AM (and you all know I am NOT a morning person) because Mason had soiled the bed to the degree it would take two people to clean and change everything. After we got that done, as I took the trash outside, I was greeted with the beautiful sunrise. I don't often get to see the sunrise (did I mention I am NOT a morning person), so today that was a special blessing for me that I wouldn't have received if I wasn't Mason's mom.
My Mason's Mom Blessings:
1. I see beautiful things I would have missed.
2. I see strength in suffering.
3. I find joy in the little things Mason does: conversation, singing, laughing, kissing, high fives, playing catch.
4. I know this child will never take me for granted.
5. I see others become thankful for what they are when they meet Mason.
6. I remain more dependent on God.
7. I get to share this parenting journey with my husband and see him as a gentle, loving man over and over.
8. I am a more selfless person.
There are hardships in parenting an adult with special needs. In many ways, it is more difficult than parenting a special needs child. It is harder to find support. It is harder to find services. It is just harder. But I hold onto the truth of this verse: "But my God shall supply all your need. . ." Philippians 4:19 (KJV) And he has.
However, inside, I find myself shouting, "What a stupid question! If I gave birth to him would you ask me that? God chose us to be his parents, and once we accepted the job there has never been a question in our minds that he was meant to be our son."
A little background. We adopted Mason from foster care when he was 2 years old. We were aware he had some developmental delays, most likely from shaken baby syndrome. He had been in foster care since he was about 6 months old. Mason did begin to make progress: he could walk, eat, play. Then, at the age of 5, he developed a seizure condition that became so severe he eventually had brain surgery to help alleviate some of the seizures. He also had to have a feeding tube because his fatigue from seizing caused him to sleep for days and be unable to eat. Since that time, he has developed several other conditions. He is bedridden most of the time, requires 24/7 care, is incontinent, and mentally functions about like a 1-year-old.
Yes, being the parent of a special needs individual is challenging and exhausting. Mason's physical limitations and medical needs have made our lives very different from most of our friends' lives. We will never outgrow the phase of life where we need a caregiver and advanced planning to be able to go do something. When Mason was younger, it didn't seem we were so different. Everyone had children to plan around for get togethers. But as most others lives transitioned to a place where they could pick up and go at a moment's notice, ours didn't. Ours never will.
This morning I found myself reflecting on the good things in my life because of being Mason's mom. Tim woke me at 5:30AM (and you all know I am NOT a morning person) because Mason had soiled the bed to the degree it would take two people to clean and change everything. After we got that done, as I took the trash outside, I was greeted with the beautiful sunrise. I don't often get to see the sunrise (did I mention I am NOT a morning person), so today that was a special blessing for me that I wouldn't have received if I wasn't Mason's mom.
My Mason's Mom Blessings:
1. I see beautiful things I would have missed.
2. I see strength in suffering.
3. I find joy in the little things Mason does: conversation, singing, laughing, kissing, high fives, playing catch.
4. I know this child will never take me for granted.
5. I see others become thankful for what they are when they meet Mason.
6. I remain more dependent on God.
7. I get to share this parenting journey with my husband and see him as a gentle, loving man over and over.
8. I am a more selfless person.
There are hardships in parenting an adult with special needs. In many ways, it is more difficult than parenting a special needs child. It is harder to find support. It is harder to find services. It is just harder. But I hold onto the truth of this verse: "But my God shall supply all your need. . ." Philippians 4:19 (KJV) And he has.
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