However, inside, I find myself shouting, "What a stupid question! If I gave birth to him would you ask me that? God chose us to be his parents, and once we accepted the job there has never been a question in our minds that he was meant to be our son."
A little background. We adopted Mason from foster care when he was 2 years old. We were aware he had some developmental delays, most likely from shaken baby syndrome. He had been in foster care since he was about 6 months old. Mason did begin to make progress: he could walk, eat, play. Then, at the age of 5, he developed a seizure condition that became so severe he eventually had brain surgery to help alleviate some of the seizures. He also had to have a feeding tube because his fatigue from seizing caused him to sleep for days and be unable to eat. Since that time, he has developed several other conditions. He is bedridden most of the time, requires 24/7 care, is incontinent, and mentally functions about like a 1-year-old.
Yes, being the parent of a special needs individual is challenging and exhausting. Mason's physical limitations and medical needs have made our lives very different from most of our friends' lives. We will never outgrow the phase of life where we need a caregiver and advanced planning to be able to go do something. When Mason was younger, it didn't seem we were so different. Everyone had children to plan around for get togethers. But as most others lives transitioned to a place where they could pick up and go at a moment's notice, ours didn't. Ours never will.
This morning I found myself reflecting on the good things in my life because of being Mason's mom. Tim woke me at 5:30AM (and you all know I am NOT a morning person) because Mason had soiled the bed to the degree it would take two people to clean and change everything. After we got that done, as I took the trash outside, I was greeted with the beautiful sunrise. I don't often get to see the sunrise (did I mention I am NOT a morning person), so today that was a special blessing for me that I wouldn't have received if I wasn't Mason's mom.
My Mason's Mom Blessings:
1. I see beautiful things I would have missed.
2. I see strength in suffering.
3. I find joy in the little things Mason does: conversation, singing, laughing, kissing, high fives, playing catch.
4. I know this child will never take me for granted.
5. I see others become thankful for what they are when they meet Mason.
6. I remain more dependent on God.
7. I get to share this parenting journey with my husband and see him as a gentle, loving man over and over.
8. I am a more selfless person.
There are hardships in parenting an adult with special needs. In many ways, it is more difficult than parenting a special needs child. It is harder to find support. It is harder to find services. It is just harder. But I hold onto the truth of this verse: "But my God shall supply all your need. . ." Philippians 4:19 (KJV) And he has.
